' slowly i look at dz lighted world that dies
i blink a minute, let da darkness fill my eyes
a place comes to me, full of tears & joy
come let us play with yer mind, da toy '
--- killyrbf

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1 ' the mind is its own place, & in it self can make a heav'n of hell, a hell of heav'n ' --- milton, paradise lost[w/o permission] hell.....i dunno what am doin' dz late in da evening....or rather dz early in da morning working on dz page...would somebody go to da nearest 7-11 & buy me a life!!....would somebody pls... y da phack am awake at dz time ye might ask...[then again ye might not].... well....for one am a bleeding insomniac....always hev been....since i could remember...or better yet y don't ye just keep them garlic away from me.... *devilish*.....fact is i just got back from sandman's realm....called back into dz hellish world by a fone ring...she asked if am asleep....what dye think....of kers i wasn't....how da hell could i speak to her if i was...duh?! ...wazzup?....nuthin'....what?!!.....nuthin'...y dye call a person in da middle of da night then go sayin'.....NOTHING!!!.....phack not a thing...& some ppl wonder y i like sleeping too much.... anyways.....so am awake....what better thing to lull ye back to sleep than working on a new subpage....right?....c'mon...there's absolutely nothing to gain in denying that.... what am i to babble about....??.....hmmmmmmmm....palawan...a southern philippine province composed of several[hundreds....maybe] islands...one town being el nido.....it's world famous for it's nido soup....da one made of them birds' nest[but it's really from them birds' saliva....hehehe]..i just got back from there ....spent 1 & a half weeks of me stinking life....wasting away under palawan's loving sun....& did it luv me ow so good......too good in fact....2 years won't be enuff to bring back me old skin tone...not that i've something on black ppl....rather to da contrary....it's just that those folks are black all over .... but not i.....not now i ain't....me arms are dark....my fingers are not ....my face is dark....me body's not....do i hev to say more.....i hev no problem being dark all over....but being spotted is a matter between me & da dogs........... enuff about me...& me skin.....el nido's paradise.....not that i've seen a paradise before....but if i'd seen one...it would prolly look like el nido... or it would be close....dz are da kinda thing that makes one think that there are really some folks up there....greater than all we dimwits down here... [& there are other things...we'd get there later...*s*]......li'l islands... tiny green forest in da middle of da ocean....nice white sanded beaches.... gliding & singing birds of various hues....li'l & big fishies of different colors.....sea shell....corals.....fresh sea food.....nice folks[tho there were unkewl folks too!!]....hmmmmm.....only gods.....yep....only da gods!! aside from da serenity & beauty of da place....another that gives ye faith.. is da fact that am still alive....i mean tha's y i luv da beach so much...am not a sea person at all....nope....i'll hev me water in a bottle...i take 'em fresh ...ye can hev all da sea water to yerself....I CAN'T SWIM!!....& yep am still alive....hail hecate...after boarding a very small boat...that has a dead motor plus a dead-er[dead drunk] boatman...ridin' above wild waves while being dragged by a bigger fishing boat......hmmm....hecate luvs me...i know she does...fact is...ppl who know how to swim drown....then how would one who doesn't know how won't '......point taken....i was afraid like hell....again da gods luv me!!! *s* dz is getting to be a drag, right?....& am not da kinda of bullwhip who'll force me own bullshit on somebody else....so if think ye can handle more..just click on.....if not...tnx for droppin' by anyways....& pray that they come up with a cure for brain damage......fast.......rock on!! || TOP ||

2 i can be so darn stoopid sometimes.......big time stoopid!!....y is it that ppl[like her] need to travel with their folks...or y is it that ppl[like me] need to travel with their so called friends....hmmm....tha's y da internet is so kewl.....when ye go inside a chat site....it's a given that anyone who crashes in wants to be friends with ye....or at least will try...or give it her/his bloodiest shot....ye just can't simply do that in da flesh...try it & ye risk being slapped....or being shouted at by relatives...in front of caring & not so caring ppl.....[right dickson?.....hihih] ' how much wasted time will ye survive ' --- duncan sheik[w/o permission] she wasn't a bomb....to da others she was just flesh...not beautiful at all... but would suffice under da circumstances....we're on a ship....in da middle of da china sea....no other recourse but to settle for what's there.....i was da 1st ...& da only one to notice her...it was da book....da fact that she was reading.. or da fact that i was too.....she didn't notice me...not me....not anyone else.. she's trapped....more like content...satisfied...in that li'l world....of hers...it must hev been full of colors....must hev been bright yet not hot.... but now i'll never know....what would i give to know?!!!!.......ah.. on da way back to manila...da same ship...da same companions...better circumstances....but....but.....we weren't s'posed to sail until da next morning.. we had to spend da night on da ship....w/o aircons...for it wasn't moving yet... it was hot...felt like my flabs were melting...that thought gave me a rise...i awoke to da clutter of feet....controlled noize...& who are dz stoopid morons... waking me up...when they know i won't be able to snooze again....with that kinda heat...it was 4 more hours b4 we are to set sail....stoopid morons....nope...they may hev been stupid enuff to create noize....am sure it wasn't their intention to pull me out of da sandman's grasp tho....then there she was....something in her...must be them specs....bring me down to my knees...am awake...it felt like am not.... now they notice her....they try to take what they can get....not flesh...but memories....flashes of memories....i learned one of my friends got into my ride too....tho.....it wasn't really my ride.....there is da one....not da one that is there........i watched her....eating noodles....reading a book.... playing cards....sleeping.....seating...standing......smiling... frowning.....drinking....breathing......even when i was sleeping i was watching......but am here now...& she's not....her world...however nice... however colorfull....will forever be locked....da key i saw.....but did not pluck.... || TOP ||

3 ' untame my brain.... give me a name hear my faith.... seal my fate ' -- belly[w/o perms] if yer looking for something with even a bit of sense.... pls go elsewhere...... i haven't been able to add anything to my paper....da amount of pressure, or da lack of it, just doesn't seem to be enough to force me to write...maybe am breeding a true slacker culture here....yes, i do think that is so...but wouldn't it be better if all people become slackers...i mean just try moving away for a sec & look at da big picture....am not working on a regular basis, most of da time i just bum around da house...if i can gather up enough change i go & pay for internet....when i need da money i find a way to get it....all w/o harming anyone or anything....i don't seem to care about problems...maybe because i don't find any...yep, maybe i do...but they're everybody else's problems too....pollution, da environment, da heat, crimes....what am trying to do is just not to add to da problem or be a problem myself....no stress here...& load'sa fun.. i don't go sending e-mails to ev'ryone about how erap isn't a good president & how we should be better off leaving da country like most GOOD ppl are doing....erap isn't a problem....he's there to do his best....now if ye hev a better idea, then why didn't ye go against him last elections.....[ye know who ye are....dimwit....hehehe...]..now if ye think ye can help...take a jeepney going mediola...instead of ye just yapping like a perv in church now...what did i intend to write about in here tonight....nothing in particular really....i think am dying....[but we all are, right?...hehe].........it feels like i want something....yet, i don't know what da fuck it is...i see red, crimson red.....blood red....no, i don't think it's blood...it has blood...but it ain't blood....yer guess is as good as mine....da darn thing doesn't hev a face....yet....or will it forever stay faceless....a blank....a night of awesome darkness waiting to be sliced buy a scream so wild.......when will dz noize break into da night...?....only da moist whispers can decide...not ye, not me..but only she can say when's da time to spark a fire...or eternally stay a sigh.... || TOP ||